hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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