You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
