there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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