I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize