well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
