nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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