I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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