Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
