***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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