Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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