I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
