I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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