Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
