who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
