we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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