made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
sarcasm needs its own font
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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