I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
