I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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