I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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