We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize