i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
