i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
