you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
