i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
