Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
