i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
