the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
