I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
