I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
