No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
