pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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