I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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