hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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