Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
