all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
