I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
