Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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