I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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