dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
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I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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