If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
