East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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