Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
