If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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