Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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