Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
