So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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