My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
