just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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