Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
