a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
