garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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