I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
