walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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