Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize