I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
