I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
last night I used snow as a chaser
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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