Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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