genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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