I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
