we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
