You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
