Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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