Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
