youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize