It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I need moral support for this bender
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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