We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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