Taylor Swift is so right about you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
