Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dignity is for republicans.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
