I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
