I cockslap morals
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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